Holiday Spark

Everyone is happy and in love at the beginning of a great relationship. It’s the feeling of bliss, the thought that your partner can do no wrong, and there is no one more attractive than your loved one. But what happens when that spark seems to fade? Suddenly things that you never noticed, or things that you must’ve overlooked…start popping up and rearing their ugly little heads. Maybe you get into your first fight, or maybe you feel disappointed for the first time in this relationship. Hopefully, you don’t ever, but let’s assume for once, that you’ve found yourself in this situation…and that once frantic, non-stop animal magnetism sex all over the place and constant hourly sexts…begins to wane. Where do you go to get that love back? The holidays are a great place to start coaxing that love back in. Generally, around the holidays, we get a little sentimental and we tend to focus a lot more on the importance of family. That’s your in. Building back the love, the spark, in a relationship, old or new, can be done a lot easier if you try these tips.

1)plan a family event-cook together, eat together, tell stories, laugh, smile, get close!

2)schedule some ‘sexy time’- book a day/night and cover all your bases. Stay indoors, in bed, watching tv, spooning, touching, giving each other a bath, taking a shower together, feed each other, get to know each other all over again, for one full 24 hour period.

3)go on an adventure! Do something that you both find really cool. It can be cheap or really expensive. Best trip ever can be just a walk in the mountains, casually exploring a place you both have never been to. Experience your environment together!

4) last but not least- make your relationship to do list! Sit down together and come up with a nice long list of about 10-20 things that you both want your relationship to look like. Be realistic though. Put things on your list like ‘have passionate sex twice a week’ or ‘tell my partner that I love them everyday’ or ‘take a romantic vacation to Hawaii’.

Now get out there and drink some nog, kiss under some mistletoe, go sledding, sip some hot cocoa, snuggle up by a fire, give some presents, get some love from your family and do your 4 tips! Happy Holidays!!!

Want To Be Loved? Here’s How.

Of course, everyone does. This is the goal for most, to be loved. From the dawn of time, I’m sure we’ve been searching for the magical formula to this equation (LOVE=X+Y). Right? Well search no more, I have your answer here. Its quite simple to me. In order to be loved, you have to be able to be lovable. Are you lovable? Are you loving? What do you love? When do you stop loving?Who can’t you love? There are all kinds of questions we must ask ourselves before we try to look for love. There is an infinite array of loving partners on this planet for us. Literally for each and every one of us, there are at least thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of choices. We decide to frantically to go out and “find the one” as if there was one magical unicorn of a mate out there looking for their one magical unicorn of a mate. Well, I’m more of a hopeless romantic realist. While there might be a magical unicorn out there looking for you, I think its best to start from within. We are our own worst nightmare and at the same time can also be guilty of being our own best friend. No one knows us better than ourselves. When we want to find love, we are looking for a feeling of safety and belonging, security and attachment. I find it best to look at how much we love ourself first and recognize where we might be able to love ourselves a little bit more. Can we feel safety, belonging, security and attachment with our friends? If so, then we probably have a pretty great chance of finding love pretty fast. Best to set a goal with a love and intimacy coach to achieve the kind of love you want if you don’t already feel it in your friendships. Love is a tricky path, sometimes its got ups and sometimes it can make you feel like never taking another step on this planet. With the right steps, you’re coach can get you well on your way to finding all of the love that’s been missing! 

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4 Ways to Achieve the Sexual Relationship You’ve Always Desired

Try these 4 fun tips to getting your ideal sexual relationship.

  1. Read- If you like reading, you’re in luck. I’ve got some books that you can begin reading that will help you get a better understanding of your sexual self. (The  Boudoir Bible by Bettony Vernon, Sexual Healing by Barbara Keesling) Read Sexual Healing first then The Boudoir Bible. If that doesn’t make you feel better about your sexuality and your sex life- then I don’t know what will…well ok- I do, you can try these next tips as well.
  2. Watch- Movies dealing with sexuality and sex, good old fashioned Hollywood movies will work. They are merely stories about sex and if you watch them with an open mind, hopefully you’ll start to understand that we aren’t all that different and we aren’t all the same either. Somewhere in between the spectrum we all fall and some of us like to linger on the far ends of the spectrum- and that’s fine. As long as we can see our stories in other people, we can begin to realize that our issues have been dealt with before by other people and they’ve felt pride and happiness in feeling this acceptance. (Vicky Christina Barcelona, Kinsey, Dangerous Beauty, Kama Sutra, these are a good start…) As well as these kinds of dramatic artistic films, regular porn is fine too. There are all kinds of specialty porn out there these days, such as “porn for females, made by females”. Female made porn tends to be more female pleasure centered rather than the traditional male pleasure centered kinds of porn that we are already used to. Checking out this new kind of female pleasure centered porn is radically different and beneficial for females and males because it finally shows the gear of the porn to be giving pleasure to the female in real ways that feel good for the female. If we compare the age old traditional porn, there was not a lot of thought put into showing how to successfully pleasure a woman and to properly bring her to orgasm, once or even a multiple of times. Gone are those days where we are relegated to that old model of porn. Do yourself  a huge favor and go watch some new school porn. (Lady Cheeky, Beautiful Agony, Bright Desire, Literotica, XConfessions by Erika Lust)
  3. Visit- Locate all of the best sex shops in your town. I live in Los Angeles and we have one of the best ‘The Pleasure Chest’. This place has everything you could possibly imagine. Stuff that might scare you or turn you on. I encourage you to go in there either alone or with your partner, whichever scenario will make you more comfortable. Look down at every aisle and touch things, price things out, feel things, browse and buy! If you feel comfortable enough buying something, then by all means- DO IT! 
  4. Do your homework!- This is the hardest part. Nobody likes homework, but this is easy homework. This is practice. Actually putting all of your info that you’ve watched, read, and seen (and maybe brought home too!)- Put it all into action. Practice definitely makes perfect. Use all of these tips to make yourself so excited to do your homework every week. Wether its doing pelvic floor exercises, having sex regularly, masturbating with a new toy or watching some new porn- your sex life will improve because guess what…You are having to focus more on reaching your ideal sexual relationship.  Now get out there and start! 

The Hollywood Sex Coach’s Guide to Feeling Sexy All the Time

How to feel sexier in just 10 easy steps- 

  1. take a pole dancing class (Sfactor)
  2. Go lingerie shopping (Victoria’s Secret, Frederick’s of Hollywood, Trashy Lingerie, or any of the many cheap and fun stripper stores on Hollywood Blvd between Whitley and Cahunega)
  3. watch some porn (try something different! there is a lot of great new porn out there made by female directors, but maybe check out something you’ve always been curious about or maybe wanting to try)
  4. masturbate regularly ( just to keep healthy and regular, to get the muscles strong and to be able to feel how you orgasm is crucial to being able to fully enjoy your wild women roar!)
  5. do you ( take a bath, get a massage, go shopping, stay home, go out, do whatever it is that you love doing, things that will give you pleasure- do them, all of it!)
  6. read some erotica (Anais Non “Little Birds” or “Delta of Venus” if you like vintage, like me- if not there are all kinds of modern erotica writers that you can find pretty easy on the internet with a little bit of digging)
  7. have sex more (like as much as you’d like, as much as you want, take your time, go all the way and maybe sometimes don’t go all the way- leave him happy or just let him make you happy- either way, just focus on making sure you are doing more of the sexy time dance throughout your week.
  8. confirm your hotness everyday (start a gratitude list and write down three things about yourself that you are grateful for, just three and everyday, after awhile- you’’ begin to believe it, and once you believe it, you’ll have it- what you’ve always wanted- it- whatever it is!)

How A Sex Coach Can Save Your Relationship

Courtesan.LA, the first ever sensual education studio. Dedicated to empowering modern women through their innate powerful femininity. Educating women in Sensuality, Human Sexuality, Neo Feminism, Burlesque, Erotic Dancing and Intimate Relationships. Offering private intimacy/relationship coaching sessions for MEN, WOMEN and COUPLES! Contact us for pricing and to book your first session.

Courtesan.LA is now offering private relationship, love and sex coaching sessions by Bianca White.

Coaching is NOT therapy. Coaching is best understood as helping you get to your intended goal. If your goal is to bring in more

  • intimacy
  • healthier
  • loving

relationships, more sex or more pleasurable sex, comfort with your own sensuality or just plain curiosity about sex positivity, coaching is key.

Creating More Meaningful Intimacy

Courtesan.LA, the first ever sensual education studio. Dedicated to empowering modern women through their innate powerful femininity. Educating women in Sensuality, Human Sexuality, Neo-Feminism, Burlesque, Erotic Dancing and Intimate Relationships. Offering private intimacy/relationship coaching sessions for MEN, WOMEN and COUPLES! Contact us for pricing and to book your first session.

Courtesan.LA is now offering private relationship, love and sex coaching sessions by Bianca White.

Coaching is NOT therapy. Coaching is best understood as helping you get to your intended goal. If your goal is to bring in more

  • intimacy
  • healthier
  • loving

relationships, more sex or more pleasurable sex, comfort with your own sensuality or just plain curiosity about sex positivity, coaching is key.